A few days back, my girlfriend and I sat at a bar having a beer. She is, by all accounts, stunning. She has very dramatic features, incredible hair and she always, always looks pulled together.
She and I were having a difficult conversation. Well actually, she was sharing with me some difficult thoughts and feelings and I was doing my best to listen and be a good friend. During this conversation, she cried.
She has never cried in front of me before, therefore, I have never seen her cry before. So this was a new experience for both of us.
Between the pangs of sadness I felt for her and the urge to sweep her into a big hug, I looked at my friend and noted how beautifully she cries.
I have told her many times before that her skin reminds me of sugar cookie dough, soft and creamy. Having a serious sweet tooth myself, I love how her creamy skin perfectly compliments her deep, chocolaty-fudge eyes. And in no way am I surprised that when I see her I think of dessert; something I always look forward to and never seem to get enough of.
But this particular night, as she stared at the label on her beer bottle, I took notice of the pools of wet that formed above her thick, lower eyelashes.
And very quietly, very subtly, in the middle of a noisy bar, a tear broke free and slipped down her cheek.
So I sat there, listening and aching for my friend's grief. And I watched my beautiful friend, cry a beautiful cry.
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I've never been a pretty crier. My face is such a dead giveaway when my feelings are hurt, so much so that a person can look straight into my eyes and practically watch my heart buckle and splinter apart.
My cheeks grow all pink and flush and my eyes immediately start overflowing. It's a messy, scattered sort of emotion, not at all like how it's done on t.v. or in any of the movies I've ever seen. Well, I take that back. That crying scene in When Harry Met Sally, when Sally is crying on Harry's shoulder because she found out her ex-boyfriend is getting married, that's pretty close to how I cry. Only she has a professional camera crew and a make-up artist, so her cry was at least well lit and always shot from her "good" side.
My cries are usually a mixture of words and sighs and burying my face in my hand and pacing and hand gestures and more words and, if I'm lucky, Kleenex. It's not pretty. Not at all.
Any person can tell when I'm on the verge of crying, but trying really hard not to, because I will go silent. Dead Silent. I won't even breathe. This is why Lance had to double check that his cell phone hadn’t dropped my call, right after he told me he was going to propose to Courtney. I was able to squeak out a response "no...I’m here...I’m just so happy...I just love you both so much...." and then I lost it.
Ugly cry.
So I fully admit that I'm an ugly crier and I will blame genetics for that because that's always the easiest route to take. Besides, I figure some people are born to cry beautifully while others, well...we have other beautiful traits.
Like really white teeth.
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