Wonderboy (and girl)

still friday, still drinking
but 6 of us are cammando
it will be a good night tonight!
no one is allowed to ask how we realized that 6 of us are sans undergarments. :)

also, I love the three photos I took of Brian after he did a shot. Priceless.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

I'm at Brian's place with Prop, Jack, Meg, Melina, Adam, Brian, and Biiillllyyyy. FInishing off my third beer in less than 60 minutes. Taking lots of photos and having problems typing (thanks Jack for pointing out the obvious). :0

Yee-haw!!

Happy Birthday Ash!

It's Ashley's birthday, so we ventured to Chipotle to celebrate. Happy Birthday, Ash! Sshhhh...I promise not to tell anyone. :)

I'm Norwegian - so this is hilarious

WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING FROM DULUTH
AIRPORT.
YA SHURE, YA BETCHA!
DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA.
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.

If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills
airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where
flyin is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air
flight.

Meals are potluck.
Rows 1-6, bring rolls;
7-15, bring a salad;
16-21, hot dish, and
22-30, a dessert.

Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will-offereing and da plane will not land 'til da
budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised
and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet,
so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or
something of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on
da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to
worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes
Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit
you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a like
driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In
da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it.

Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about
forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some
people say "tresspass against us," which isn't right, but what can
you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day
may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all
da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da
wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your
mout on da side of your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot
up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in
front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am
going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace.
"Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed.
Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close.
Amen!"

My Mom is My Hero

and this is why...
for all you LOST fanatics out there, check out what my mom figured out:

540 days is exactly 18 months.
desmond has been there for 3 years
108/60= 1.8
1.8x60=108
108/24= 4.5
365/4.5=81.1
365/1.8=202.7
365/202.7=1.8

Dont try to figure out my math I left out some things
threfore desmond has pushed the button..... you guessed it
4,815,162,342 times or 4,8,15,16,23,42 the numbers

Game On!

The business Kuntry Kitchen is:
a) a bed and breakfast
b) a restaurant
c) a strip club
d) a porn shop

Which of the following statements brought about good in the world:
a) Read my lips!
b) Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?
c) Listen. To the words. That I am saying!
d) None of the above

Tom Cruise is:
a) unable to have children (and yet Katie is somehow pregnant)
b) crazy
c) a homophobic jerk
d) all of the above

The Lebowskis Strike Back!

Bowling season started up last night. Some highlights of the evening were:
1. My new name is The Queen of the 9s
2. The 8th frame is the "Dana Frame"
3. For Noel, every frame is the "Dana Frame"
4. Mark - we were watching! we swear!!
5. Stephanie got a turkey!
6. Happy Birthday to Beth!

Quotes from Today

in no particular order, my afternoon has consisted of the following:

"I need lots of beer, right now." -Olivia

"Whaa??" - Laine

"I don't know why I am sitting like this." -Ashley

"I need tequila" - Laine

For Pete's Sake

Yesterday I linked my blog onto a profile on Myspace.com. Now I have strangers wanting to be "my friend", which means they think we have something in common and they want to be able to chat with me online. This was an email I received yesterday from Pete. He wants to be "my friend". He makes me want to crawl out of my skin.


Dear Olivia...
...You're so gorgeous, i bet You have beautiful feet too...i would really do a lot just for the chance of having the priviledge to massage Your precious feet.
At the same time i know very well, that i probably would never get that chance, therefore i guess the best way to see or meet You or even touch You would be to transform myself into raindrops and simply fall on You someday hoping that You forget umbrella that day.
Please accept soft and sensuous kisses to Your feet,
Pete

Bubbly

Some things just call for champagne...





while others call for beer.

In From San Fran

Sadia came to Chicago this weekend. It was awesome that Becky came too! The evening consisted of checking out Dustin's art at Serches, chat-chat-chat, and Flash Taco on the 6 corners at 3:30am. Good times...

Don't Waste the Pretty

My friend Sadia made a very bold move this weekend, and I am so proud of her for having the courage to finally speak up. She told Dustin that she had feelings for him. He responded by saying he didn't want to hurt their friendship.

That sucks.

I spent Saturday night re-reading "He's Just Not That Into You" and there is a whole chapter on "He's just not that into you if he is using the I-don't-want-to-hurt-our-friendship excuse". I also stumbled across the chapter on "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you" and the chapter on "He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out on dates".

Then I put the put the book down.

Sadia is one of the most beautiful persons I have ever met in my life. She is an extremely intelligent, creative, positive, and absolutely hilarious person. There is a reason why she has friends in every city in the world! I don't understand why men don't see these incredible qualities in her. Hell, I don't understand why men don't see all the incredible qualities in all of my girlfriends. I hear my friends talk about how they hate being single and I shake my head at the thought that they still are single! How can they not have been snatched up by now?!

I hope Sadia knows how much she means to me and that every day I am grateful to have her in my life. And the same goes for Precious, Leah, Ann, Annie, Ashley, Andrea, Sarah, and Juli. I wish my love for all of you filled up that space where a guy is missing. But in the meantime, I will keep buying rounds of strong beer and splitting Flash Taco at 4:30am until that guy comes along.

Cheers, my love!

Go To Your Room!

Why do I always feel like I am in trouble? That can't be right.

If Brian Were Cool

an email from Brian:

What it would be like if I were cool....

1. The "Jungle room" would be "Crate and Barrel room"
2. Instead of watching the Family Guy, I would watch Desperate Housewives and The O.C.
3. I would be taller
4. Instead of drinking cans of Bud Light, I would only drink bottles of Sam Adams and Heineken
5. I would know what music you were talking about when you talk about music
6. I would shop at Whole Foods instead of Walgreen's and Jewel for my groceries
7. I would have an IPOD instead of a $10.00 walkman from Walgreen's
8. I would wear striped long sleeved shirts
9. I would use Pomade instead of some crappy cheap ass hair gel in a squeeze bottle
10. In, general, I would care more what people thought of me...

my email response back to Brian:

Let me tweak this for if you were really cool…

1. The “Jungle room” would be a “vintage/70’s-mod room”
2. You would still watch The Family Guy, or you wouldn’t watch tv at all
3. You would be taller
4. Instead of drinking Bud Light, you would drink PBR or Stella
5. You would know what kind of music I am talking about when I talk about music
6. You would shop at farmer’s markets or Whole Foods (but still buy staple products from Jewel)
7. You would have an Ipod
8. You would wear vintage shirts, with funky t-shirts underneath it…you would also wear Pumas
9. You would use pomade, your hair would be longer and hanging a bit in your eyes
10. You wouldn’t give a shit what people thought of you and people would be jealous of that quality in you


Brian's email response back:
that list makes me vomit in my mouth

Los Angeles

I'm going to Los Angeles in December! And I get to hang out with this pretty girl (and with Karla as well)!

Other wonderful things about LA: Aaron, Josh, my church family, In-N-Out Burger, sunshine, Fred 62, Amoeba Records, mexican food, and margaritas.

Morning Poetry

My mom is a writer, and a very talented one at that. Her preferred style of writing is creative non-fiction and sermons. She has never written poetry before. This morning she woke up at 5:30 and had a poem "stuck in her head". For two hours she worked on it and emailed it to me to review. I think it's beautiful.

This poem will be a wedding present to her friends Katherine and Kristin, who are getting married next summer.

Wedding Cake

A blending of sweet and spice
Surprise of salt and flavor
The texture underneath that holds
Together.

Whisk as needed for balance
Never over-powering or deflating
Leaven with time ~ extra patience required…
For this step, but worth the wait.
Fold gently

Two eggs for firmness
And oil to protect from drying
Test occasionally at the center
It should be moist but not rigorous.
Store in a safe place

Top with a hardened sweetness
For the world to know you by
While hiding the feathery center
To alone enjoy.

Sit a tiny flourish atop
~ Declaring itself boldly
Without apology ~
Sweet and soft.
For those courageous enough to taste

Now enjoy!
Rich and creamy…
Fulfilling and satisfying…
Enough for two.

Enough for two.

Your Mom's a Whore. Go F*ck Yourself.

Just cause I told Laine that this would be an awesome title for a posting.

Pearly Whites

I have a dental check-up after work today. You may be asking yourself “why is this blog-worthy?” Well, let me give you a little history…

1) I hate the dentist. I hate everything about the dentist. I hate the smell of the office. I hate the sound of the instruments. I hate the stupid, paper bib that gets strapped around my neck. I hate the dentist.
2) I have horrible teeth (it’s a genetic thing) and every time I go to the dentist I fear a very large bill and extreme physical pain. My last visit resulted in both of these and I worry that history will repeat itself (despite the brushing, flossing, and mouth wash).
3) At my last check-up, my dentist asked me out on a date. We went out a couple of times and then we just never really spoke again. We didn’t leave on bad terms, per say, but I also haven’t spoken to him in about 4 months. I really hope he isn’t angry about this and if he is angry, I hope he doesn’t take it out on my gums.

This could get very awkward.

Katrina Photos

These were taken in Alabama of Katrina as it was "coming in".

Uncle Wayne

My uncle just passed away. How very sad.

I would like to make a prayer request for his children, Jennifer and Thane. As I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose a parent.

Thinking Theologically

I recently started taking a class titled “Living the Questions”. It meets once a week for a little over 2 hours and is taught by a panel of professors from Garrett Seminary. I was preparing for next week’s class and was fascinated by the reading, which was about the two stories of creation in the book of Genesis. The first story’s authors have been dubbed the “Priestly” writers; their emphasis is on ritual and order. The second story’s authors are called “Yahwists”; their style is much more poetic with roots in an older folk-story style of writing.
The following is an excerpt discussing the 2nd creation story, and the literary creativity that the Yahwists exhibited.

“One of the Yahwist’s many wordplays that is lost in the translation from Hebrew is in the creation of the first human being. In order for the ground to be tilled, God formed the farmer, “ha adam”, which means “the earth creature” in Hebrew. “Earth” or ground in Hebrew is “adamah.” So, ha adam was formed from the adamah – words that take on a poetic flair when chanted in Hebrew. The character we call “Adam” is unnamed. English translators dropped the “ha” (the definite article) and capitalized “adam” (a plural noun) and gave us Adam.”

I think this class is absolutely fascinating.

The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, mix it with tequila and you'll be stoned medicine

These were the interesting points to last night:
1) Laine drugged/drunk dialed me at 7pm. Nyquil + margaritas = hilarious.
2) Laine and I read off old messages from our high school yearbooks.
3) Laine’s best message was from her math teacher who wrote the following “ring me sometime…my home number is 352-8673”
4) My best message was from Chuck Munyon who wrote “Never turn to the dark side for the power of evil feeds only upon itself. Also, have a good year.”
5) I baked cookies.
6) I was pissed, and then I remembered that I don’t care, and then I wasn’t pissed anymore. Still, friends are sacred to me and there is such a thing as common courtesy.

Survivor

I survived the weekend. This is partially due to this morning's cancelled (yet again!) skydiving jump. I woke up really early, missed church, rode-tripped with a bunch of hungover/still-a-little-drunk guys, and took a class on how to pull a rip cord. 12 minutes before my flight takes off, they cancel the rest of the jumps due to low cloud coverage.
This is the second time this has happened and I am starting to get frustrated.

Another reason I survived the weekend is due to some incredible patience on one person's part. I hate being wrong. Everyone who knows me, knows this about me. And I will argue until the wee hours of the morning, if it means that I don't have to admit that there is a slight possibility that I could be wrong. This is only a noble characteristic if the argument involves women's rights, Dubya-bashing, or baby seals.
This is not a noble characteristic if it involves Jamie Foxx.

I think by the age of 28 we all become survivors in some way or another. We survive hurricanes, car accidents, and broken hearts. The degree in which we survive shows in whether we are willing to continue living in Houston, offer to drive out to Evanston, or attempt (yet again) to find love.

But even I will admit that jumping out of plane sounds like the easiest to survive. Although, if you ask Mark...he would probably disagree.

My Nightmare

Just when I thought I had gotten past all of that, it shows up again in my dreams. The screaming fight at 2 in the morning. The slamming of the door. The not coming home. And it seemed so freakin’ real. I woke up at 4am, feeling like shit, and afraid of falling back asleep.

There was so much talking, and revealing, that it bubbled right back up to the surface.

I don’t know how to let this go.

I wish he would stop emailing me.

Hurricane Rita

Some telling signs as to how most people in Houston are preparing for Hurricane Rita:
1) All grocery stores have sold out of bread and water
2) Home Depot has sold out of plywood
3) Menards has sold out of sheet metal

Telling signs as to how my best friend, Laine, is preparing for Hurricane Rita:
1) She has sent out invites for her “Hurricanes and ‘Ritas” party. She will only be serving hurricanes and marga’ritas.

I love my friends.

She Fell to the Floor Without Making a Sound

Josh – Did you honestly think I would actually pass up Ian Moore? Hell, I didn’t even believe that last posting.

I took Brian’s advice and tweaked it into my own 3 step recovery program.
1. Drink a beer or two
2. Talk only with Laine and only talk about the really important things
2. Take lots of deep, gulping breaths as you belt out Nirvana on the car ride to The Abbey Pub

And to my surprise, who should grace my presence a quarter of the way into Ian’s set? Mike Birch himself. He wasn’t “sick (or something)” he was at a conference, which might be just as bad. Either way, Mike and I just leaned back and soaked in the remaining 2 hours of Ian’s set. Incredible.

Get Off My Back

Seriously, enough with the questions. Enough with the words of wisdom. Enough with the "I just want you to think about...". Enough.
I'm done. I am unplugging the phone and the email.

I've earned this trust, so give it to me already.

And i have decided to not go to Ian Moore tonight. Do i have a ticket already? Yes. But Mike is sick (or something), the pain in my hamstring has travelled to my back, i'm tired, and i am just frustrated as hell.

grrrrr.....

I just ranted/vented to Brian for 20 minutes and his advice was the following:
1) have a cider or 17
2) not talk to people
3) take lots of deep breaths

Is This Thing On??

Sunday night we went to an open mic at The Bucktown Pub. It was so difficult to get into my car. I could have easily stood in the street for another hour or two.

Will I ever tell him what I said in French? If I could remember it, perhaps I would.